If you recently broke up with your boyfriend, you probably feel a lot of pain in your heart and wondering how to get your ex boy back. If you think there is no way to get your ex back you are wrong. There are things that you can do to get your ex boy back into your life, even if you had a really bad breakup. Here are some of the top ways to get your ex boy back.
1. First of all, get control of your emotions and your pain before even you are trying to get your ex back.This is not an easy thing, but if you are going to work things out, you are going to have to get beyond that pain.
2. You must improve yourself, because this is the great way for you if you want to get your ex boy back. If you want to make your ex boyfriend to be impressed, surprise him and make him feel that you are better than before. But stay yourself! You don't need to change to another person so you could impress him.
3. Be aware your relationship breakup and then correct the mistakes. It is important that you understand why you split up if you want to get your ex boy back. You can't have relationship with your ex if there are
the same problems you had before. So take your time and believe in your abilities.
4. If you want to get your ex boy back, then you will need to keep contacts with him, but stay at minimum. This will be very hard for you, if you break up recently, but you must be strong and keep contacts to a minimal over the few weeks in the beginning.
5. Go out and have a great time. Just because you broke up doesn't mean you need to sit at home and be depressive. If you really want to get your ex boy back, you will have to avoid depression and needs. So, go out and have fun. It will be great for your spirit and if your ex will see you somewhere outside and saw that you have a great time, he will be very curious because of this.
6. Avoid chasing and stalking your ex boyfriend, because this is the quickest way to drive him away from you.
7. Make your ex boyfriend come to you. One of the best ways to get your ex boy back is to let him come to you. More than likely he'll come around sooner or later. Just letting him be the one to make the first move is important and when you do see each other, keep it light and friendly in the beginning.
By Mitja Drame
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Loving Without Losing Yourself!
You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love is different and you are prepared to do anything to make it last. To prevent this ship from sinking you work hard to steer this relationship into a safe harbor. In the process you lose yourself and your romantic relationship becomes all-consuming!
When Kyra fell head-over-heels for Dan she went out of her way to create a wonderful relationship. She found herself at hockey games, watching horror movies, at parties with his friends and on vacations with his family. At home, things were not much different. Kyra cooked his favorite meals, kept house the way he wanted and listened to music of his choice. On Dan’s advice, Kyra cut her hair short, wore less make-up and a conservative wardrobe. She had even given up her night classes, because they cut into their dinnertime. For Dan, this relationship was perfect. In an effort to not disappoint him, Kyra lived in constant anxiety. She had adapted to his lifestyle, defended his views and even began to talk like him. Kyra’s friends witnessed her change from a spirited and happy woman to a subdued and pleasing personality. This relationship had sucked the life out of Kyra, yet she was the last to notice.
While compromise in a relationship is a necessary ingredient for it’s success, denying the core of who you are is not. When you finally realize that an all-consuming relationship is depleting you, there will be nothing left but resentment. It will be difficult to reclaim yourself while remaining in that same relationship. The outcome of such a relationship is usually a heart-breaking crisis, with no one but you to blame.
The opposite of an all-consuming relationship is a half-hearted relationship. In this relationship you withhold affection until the evidence is in that the other is hooked. I love you, if you love me first has become a common trend. Fearing that you will give more love than you receive, you put your partner on probation and control the power in this relationship. You judge according to your expectations and keep track of his or her scores. The higher the scores, the more you are willing to reward with love. This conditional view creates tremendous emotional insecurity.
All-consuming or halfhearted relationships are very unnatural and unhealthy. Ironically, both types are guided by fear. In an all-consuming relationship, fear of not being loved is the driving force. In a halfhearted relationship, fear of being hurt prevents you from knocking down protective walls.
Is there a happy medium? To you love wholeheartedly without losing yourself requires a very different perspective of relationships. Even though you know that relationships require work, deep down you cling to a sweet illusion that meeting the right person is all it takes. You will then take off on your magic carpet ride. Think again! Soon that magic rug will be pulled from underneath you.
If you long for a partner who is wholeheartedly behind you, ask yourself, are you the same partner? Do you give that which you seek in your relationship? Ironically, many lack the qualities they seek in their partners. Listen to your heart and when it feels right, feel the fear and love anyway. Love without hesitation and with all you heart. Don’t let your fear of rejection and getting hurt kill your desires or steal your dreams. You may have stared in the face of love before. Maybe you “chickened-out.” Next time, don’t be a chicken!
If you are in a relationship of love, here is a universal truth: Love is choice and if you choose it wholeheartedly, you are never going to lose it. Love teaches you to become a better human being. Restore your faith in love and become emotionally available to each other. Put your fears and your past behind you and become lovable by being loving. Learn to trust by trusting yourself. Surrendering to love does not mean losing yourself. Yet, even when it is safe to open your heart, you may feel weakened by the anxiety that this love will disappear.
When in love, how do you preserve your identity and course in life? Here is the number one reason for losing yourself in a relationship: Your belief that love is something you either deserve or not! Your misguided belief leads you to counterproductive efforts to do almost anything to get love and even more to hold onto it:
· You modify your identity to gain approval and love from your partner.
· You hold back intimacy to protect your vulnerability.
· You have a need to manipulate your partner.
There is nothing you have to be, or do, to earn love. When it is love, there is very little you can do to destroy it. If you can believe that, you will accept that:
· You can be loved even if you are not perfect
· You can be loved while keeping your course in life
· You can be loved without getting lost in love
Love is the most powerful human lesson you are ever to learn. It is a purposeful interdependence through which you become so much more than on your own. Once you can understand that love is not something to be found, rather it is in you to be shared, you can love wholeheartedly without fear. Don’t turn your back on love every time it touches you, because when you give up on love you give up on yourself.
By Allie Ochs
When Kyra fell head-over-heels for Dan she went out of her way to create a wonderful relationship. She found herself at hockey games, watching horror movies, at parties with his friends and on vacations with his family. At home, things were not much different. Kyra cooked his favorite meals, kept house the way he wanted and listened to music of his choice. On Dan’s advice, Kyra cut her hair short, wore less make-up and a conservative wardrobe. She had even given up her night classes, because they cut into their dinnertime. For Dan, this relationship was perfect. In an effort to not disappoint him, Kyra lived in constant anxiety. She had adapted to his lifestyle, defended his views and even began to talk like him. Kyra’s friends witnessed her change from a spirited and happy woman to a subdued and pleasing personality. This relationship had sucked the life out of Kyra, yet she was the last to notice.
While compromise in a relationship is a necessary ingredient for it’s success, denying the core of who you are is not. When you finally realize that an all-consuming relationship is depleting you, there will be nothing left but resentment. It will be difficult to reclaim yourself while remaining in that same relationship. The outcome of such a relationship is usually a heart-breaking crisis, with no one but you to blame.
The opposite of an all-consuming relationship is a half-hearted relationship. In this relationship you withhold affection until the evidence is in that the other is hooked. I love you, if you love me first has become a common trend. Fearing that you will give more love than you receive, you put your partner on probation and control the power in this relationship. You judge according to your expectations and keep track of his or her scores. The higher the scores, the more you are willing to reward with love. This conditional view creates tremendous emotional insecurity.
All-consuming or halfhearted relationships are very unnatural and unhealthy. Ironically, both types are guided by fear. In an all-consuming relationship, fear of not being loved is the driving force. In a halfhearted relationship, fear of being hurt prevents you from knocking down protective walls.
Is there a happy medium? To you love wholeheartedly without losing yourself requires a very different perspective of relationships. Even though you know that relationships require work, deep down you cling to a sweet illusion that meeting the right person is all it takes. You will then take off on your magic carpet ride. Think again! Soon that magic rug will be pulled from underneath you.
If you long for a partner who is wholeheartedly behind you, ask yourself, are you the same partner? Do you give that which you seek in your relationship? Ironically, many lack the qualities they seek in their partners. Listen to your heart and when it feels right, feel the fear and love anyway. Love without hesitation and with all you heart. Don’t let your fear of rejection and getting hurt kill your desires or steal your dreams. You may have stared in the face of love before. Maybe you “chickened-out.” Next time, don’t be a chicken!
If you are in a relationship of love, here is a universal truth: Love is choice and if you choose it wholeheartedly, you are never going to lose it. Love teaches you to become a better human being. Restore your faith in love and become emotionally available to each other. Put your fears and your past behind you and become lovable by being loving. Learn to trust by trusting yourself. Surrendering to love does not mean losing yourself. Yet, even when it is safe to open your heart, you may feel weakened by the anxiety that this love will disappear.
When in love, how do you preserve your identity and course in life? Here is the number one reason for losing yourself in a relationship: Your belief that love is something you either deserve or not! Your misguided belief leads you to counterproductive efforts to do almost anything to get love and even more to hold onto it:
· You modify your identity to gain approval and love from your partner.
· You hold back intimacy to protect your vulnerability.
· You have a need to manipulate your partner.
There is nothing you have to be, or do, to earn love. When it is love, there is very little you can do to destroy it. If you can believe that, you will accept that:
· You can be loved even if you are not perfect
· You can be loved while keeping your course in life
· You can be loved without getting lost in love
Love is the most powerful human lesson you are ever to learn. It is a purposeful interdependence through which you become so much more than on your own. Once you can understand that love is not something to be found, rather it is in you to be shared, you can love wholeheartedly without fear. Don’t turn your back on love every time it touches you, because when you give up on love you give up on yourself.
By Allie Ochs
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Creating the Relationship You Desire - Do You Know What You Really Want?
Creating healthy and loving relationships should be easy but for many it seems that relationships get messed up and end in separation or divorce. Why are relationships so difficult? It is because we need to know what kind of relationships we really want, so we flow as a couple instead of banging our heads together for control.
The old adage 'know your self' is important in relationships. You have to know what you want in a relationship in order to nurture and develop it. So here are some questions and tips for you to bring clarity and understanding of your relationships. They may assist you as you create the relationship you dream about.
Relationship Questions
1. What does 'love' mean to me?
2. What qualities of love do I want in a relationship?
3. What are the positive qualities of your partner that attracted you to him/her?
4. What is your partner's behavior reflecting back to you about yourself?
5. Are you trying to change your partner's behavior?
6. What thoughts nurture a relationship?
7. Can you let go of trying to 'control' your partner?
8. How can you share with your partner?
9. Is your heart open to truly love and be loved or do you have some baggage to let go?
10. Are you loving and respecting of yourself?
11. What changes can you make to bring more peace into your life?
Relationship Tips
- Focus on what you want, rather than on what you do not want.
- Only say good things about someone.
- You cannot change another person, but you can transform yourself.
- When your heart truly opens to love, your 'poor me' feelings leave.
- Respect your partner's right to choose what he/she wants to do.
- Enjoy time on your own to explore your creative side.
- Love yourself everyday and shine as brightly as you can.
- Embrace your personal power - you are in charge of how you feel and what you do in every moment.
- Create a loving relationship where there are 'spaces' for each one to create, to love and to flow...
- Forgive yourself and your partner ... each day is a new beginning.
- Say 'Yes" to peace in your life and make some changes. To have peace in your life, simply be peaceful!
- When you inner self is calm, it is reflected in your outer world.
By Jane Booth Robertson
The old adage 'know your self' is important in relationships. You have to know what you want in a relationship in order to nurture and develop it. So here are some questions and tips for you to bring clarity and understanding of your relationships. They may assist you as you create the relationship you dream about.
Relationship Questions
1. What does 'love' mean to me?
2. What qualities of love do I want in a relationship?
3. What are the positive qualities of your partner that attracted you to him/her?
4. What is your partner's behavior reflecting back to you about yourself?
5. Are you trying to change your partner's behavior?
6. What thoughts nurture a relationship?
7. Can you let go of trying to 'control' your partner?
8. How can you share with your partner?
9. Is your heart open to truly love and be loved or do you have some baggage to let go?
10. Are you loving and respecting of yourself?
11. What changes can you make to bring more peace into your life?
Relationship Tips
- Focus on what you want, rather than on what you do not want.
- Only say good things about someone.
- You cannot change another person, but you can transform yourself.
- When your heart truly opens to love, your 'poor me' feelings leave.
- Respect your partner's right to choose what he/she wants to do.
- Enjoy time on your own to explore your creative side.
- Love yourself everyday and shine as brightly as you can.
- Embrace your personal power - you are in charge of how you feel and what you do in every moment.
- Create a loving relationship where there are 'spaces' for each one to create, to love and to flow...
- Forgive yourself and your partner ... each day is a new beginning.
- Say 'Yes" to peace in your life and make some changes. To have peace in your life, simply be peaceful!
- When you inner self is calm, it is reflected in your outer world.
By Jane Booth Robertson
Sunday, January 25, 2009
I Love You
You have so many things no one else will ever have.
You have all my love – now and forever.
You have my admiration – for being such an incredibly precious person.
You have my unending gratitude – for the way you brighten my life.
You have all my hopes – all gently hoping you know how glad I am that you warmed my world and touched my very soul.
You have my every affection.
You have my desires and dreams.
You even have things there are no words for.
You have whispered words that belong to you, thoughts you have inspired, and blessings that have touched the deepest part of my heart.
You have the most beautiful wishes the stars and I can wish, and my prayer that someday I’ll be able to thank you for all this.
You have a standing invitation to share the days with me – and to be the one and only person who holds the key to my happiness.
You have arms I want around me, eyes I want to lose myself in, and joy in your voice that I could listen to forever.
You have empty pages in the story of your life – pages I’d like us to write together… filling them with memories we’ll make and stories that will travel beside us and carry us over whatever comes along.
You have my sweet appreciation – for taking my smiles places that my heart has only dreamed of.
And you’ll always have me, and “thank-God-for-you” feelings, and soooo much love.
You have all my love – now and forever.
You have my admiration – for being such an incredibly precious person.
You have my unending gratitude – for the way you brighten my life.
You have all my hopes – all gently hoping you know how glad I am that you warmed my world and touched my very soul.
You have my every affection.
You have my desires and dreams.
You even have things there are no words for.
You have whispered words that belong to you, thoughts you have inspired, and blessings that have touched the deepest part of my heart.
You have the most beautiful wishes the stars and I can wish, and my prayer that someday I’ll be able to thank you for all this.
You have a standing invitation to share the days with me – and to be the one and only person who holds the key to my happiness.
You have arms I want around me, eyes I want to lose myself in, and joy in your voice that I could listen to forever.
You have empty pages in the story of your life – pages I’d like us to write together… filling them with memories we’ll make and stories that will travel beside us and carry us over whatever comes along.
You have my sweet appreciation – for taking my smiles places that my heart has only dreamed of.
And you’ll always have me, and “thank-God-for-you” feelings, and soooo much love.
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